And Honestly...

3 weeks ago today I was on a plane on my way to Bolivia. It's crazy to think about because I really feel like I've been here forever. I really do love it here but this trip hasn't been without challenges either but at the end of the day I know that God has me here for a reason. Or do I? Don't get me wrong I'm not about to pack my bags and sit in a corner and pout but lately it's been a little harder to understand why I am here in Bolivia. And no, I'm not going to sit and crank out a depressing blog. Those of you who know me well know that's not how I roll. But I am going to use this blog post to present a specific, thought-out, and honest prayer request. Maybe it's just because I haven't been around the little girls that cling to me and love me as much or I'm just tired but I often find myself asking God why am I here. In most situations lately I feel just really awkward and unhelpful. I often feel like God should have sent someone more assertive and confident in my place. Someone who can handle any sort of ministry instead of just sitting there wondering when the next time I will get to go to Cristo Viene is because I'm not good at anything else. 

It's times where I am doing things such as this that I feel called to be and to stay here.

Showing love to kids especially little girls is where I can visibly see God work through me. It's the other times that it gets hard and start believing a lot of lies. I know that God is not limited and can work through people in any situation I just have a hard time believing that God will use me. I need prayer that I can know that God is working through and I am where He wants me to be. That I would not have these doubts and stop believing lies and start to fight them continually without giving up and giving in to them. That I would have confidence in who I am in Christ. That when I am believing lies I can seek truth from the word and the people around me. I have been blessed with people around me that do care enough to help I just don't ask for it. Thank you to everyone who supports me in prayer. I appreciate it a lot a lot a lot.

On a happier note not all of it is hard and I do really love it here. God has taught me a lot about Himself and His character. I have this amazing opportunity to do ministry alongside some amazing people and watch as God works through them. It's super encouraging and I just love the amazing God we have and how chooses to use us. How He teaches us to love and therefore reveals a picture of His love for us. It's absolutely insane. God really just loves to blow my mind. I am learning just how personal God is and how He puts things and people in my life to meet me where I'm at to love and encourage me. Like it's crazy to think about how He has a specific plan and way to show me His love and encourage me to keep growing in Him. Yeah it's pretty wonderful.