Oh hey, culture shock.

So I got back tuesday night from Bolivia. Praise God I did just fine in the airport even through some obstacles such as slow security making me think I was going to miss my flight and my baggage carousel getting changed 3 times. I definitely still do not enjoy airports or flying, that will probably never change. 
Anyways this whole getting back thing has gone a little differently than I thought it would. I had anticipated "culture shock" to set in right in but honestly I didn't really slow down enough for it to happen. I was so excited to see people and places that I got up the next morning and went out right away. Honestly my first day back was wonderful. I got to see the people I had missed the most and who actually wanted to know how my trip was. Going out that day it felt like I hadn't even been gone. Target wasn't even overwhelming like I thought it would be. The first days back were days that I got to celebrate things such as driving, crunchy lettuce, apples, air conditioning, and relationships with the people I left behind. The first days were great, really.
But now is sort of different. The fact the I'm STAYING here is finally sinking in and I have very very mixed feelings about all of that. I miss Bolivia. Man, do I miss Bolivia. I miss my roommates oh so much. I miss serving alongside them and the wonderful relationships. It's hard knowing the things they are doing each day and not being a part of them with them to share in the joy, love, and not so easy things about the ministry there. I still talk to them a lot and that's a blessing. But I just want to be with them and the other people I love in Bolivia. I miss the kids and it hurts a lot that I don't know when I'll see them again. That's the hard thing about being stuck with blessed with compassion and love for children, I want to be there to love and care for them always. Good news is God is the ultimate care giver and cares for the orphans in Bolivia way more than I can even comprehend. But it's hard to trust that sometimes. working on it, working on it.
Church was weird this morning. I LOVEEEDDD seeing my kids again and I got a lot of smiles confirming they were glad I was back as well. I missed all of my kids dearly and I am glad to be back in their lives. I love my church but it's really primarily a ministry to me since I do not go to service but teach instead. Which is something I am happy with because of all the stuff around campus but I had adjusted to my church in Bolivia. My church in Bolivia was super different and let's be honest, I loved it. In Bolivia you greet each other with a kiss. At first this was weird but after awhile I loved it. It made me feel cared for and that my presence was wanted. The church in Bolivia is like a family, a great example of the body of Christ. When I walked into church this morning it felt weird to not be greeted. It felt like not many people had even known I had left let alone wanted to know how the trip itself went. Which honestly is something you should expect when you go on a mission trip but it's a hard reality to face when you come back. But don't get me wrong I am overjoyed to be back in my classroom once again, I just miss the church culture of Bolivia. I just miss Bolivia. 
I find myself getting frustrating easy. A lot of the things that happen in the states just seem dumb. The things that people get upset about just seem dumb. The things people do for fun or entertainment just seem dumb. In other words I need an attitude adjustment really quick before I become bitter about not being in Bolivia. feel free to pray for that.
So wrapping up it's hard being back right now. But I'm really excited for this year and I'm really happy to be back at nwc. Coming back here felt like coming home and I like that. I have good friends here. And most importantly I have the Lord who is the same here and He is in Bolivia which is absolutely fantastic. So this is how I am adjusting and I look forward for this to be done but also to learning things through it.
sorry if i sound whiney and I know 6 weeks isn't that long but yeah.

Lord bring me back to Bolivia

Today was/is my last day in Bolivia. I've been in Bolivia for 6 weeks now. I feel like I've been here forever but these weeks have gone by fast and I can't believe I'll be getting up at 6am tomorrow to head to the airport boo. First can I tell you a little bit about my last day? It was literally just what I wanted and had asked God for. I am blessed. I spent the day at Cristo Viene. This is how it started...

Laura was in time out for pulling hair. Is it bad that I think this picture is cute? maybe because I wasn't the one who had to put her there.

She's pretty cool :)

Mi amigita Laura. words cannot express the love I have for this little girl. Lord bring me back.

And I will miss moments like these the most.

Wow can I just say I had no idea how hard and wonderful this trip was going to be for me. I really can't type out all that I've learned it would take forever...if you really want to know we can get coffee sometime but i'll probably drink tea.  Mostly I have been learning about trusting God which I think is a brilliant thing to learn but hard. 

Also I've learned I absolutely hate hate hate goodbyes. Being left behind is hard. I have a way better understanding of missionaries now that I have experienced just a smidget of what it is like to be left behind and say goodbye.  Saying goodbye to the kids here is even harder. I sat with little laura at the end of the day today procrastinating telling her that I leave tomorrow while I listened to everything her little 5 year old self could think of telling me(which is A LOT). Finally I told her I had to go back to the states so I could go to school. She wrapped her arms around me and told me I can't leave because I am her amigita and various other things that broke my heart. The last 20 minutes I was there she just kept whispering no sale no sale which translates to don't leave. ugh my heart. ouch. And the hardest part is I don't know when I am coming back. and even when I do I really don't want to be someone who just comes and then leaves in these orphans' lives. I want to consistent but I don't know how I can be which is a little frustrating. Again, learning to trust God...hard but worth it because I know He will bring me back if it is His will.

A few prayer requests if you want to pray.

1. if you read this in time pray for my travels. I am way more nervous than I probably should be but yeah I am REALLY nervous of doing something wrong and not being in the right place and bah. I leave tomorrow early in the morning and will be traveling all day until 11:00 pm so if you think of it please pray for peace and that I don't do anything stupid tomorrow.

2. Pray for my adjustment back to the states because it is WAY different in Bolivia and it's going to be a little bit of a shock for me after 6 weeks.

thanks to everyone who read my posts and has supported me in prayer

Quinceañera :)

Tonight was a very special night. The reason it was so special was because we were invited to the Quinceañera of two very special girls at Megumi. The girls at Megumi have really made my time down here a huge blessing with their hospitality, sweet personalities and awesome sense of humor. Anyway you probably want to see what the Quinceañera was like right?

The Beautiful Cakes

Seats of honor

Lucky gringas with the beautiful birthday girls!

We're cute

Oh hey dinner

Sandra cutting the cake

And Maria Rene cutting the cake

Sandra's ring

Obviously it was a wonderful night with wonderful girls! Pray for me as I have to leave a lot people behind. I'll update with more specific prayer requests later as I go home. bah.

No Boys!

Alright so today was a fabulous day for many reasons. 1. I did not get out of bed until 10:30...woohoo! 2. We went to Judah Quy to hang out with Samantha and her babies and 3. We went to the plaza to get 2 for 1 ice cream plafs plafs and learned how to handle a certain situation. These pictures will tell the story of this day way better then me.

Suzanne started off the afternoon by delighting in foam tiles

Fernado after his nap...not quite ready to play

Mr. grumples didn't want to do anything. But he's still super cute

Ah but there was cake. He was excited and enjoy the cake

This is way more typical of Fernado :)

This is blurry but Luis is absolutely adorable! He would run back and forth and giggle the whole way

This was our dinner! SO good. thanks Samantha :)

The plaza! I love the plaza at night..this picture doesn't do justice but what ya gonna do?

Ah yes. while we were eating our ice cream that we waited an hour for a dude with dreadlocks tried to talked to us for quite some time.Samantha proceeded to look down at her ice cream and ignore him. Amy followed her example and me and Suzanne just stared at him wanted to talk with the young gent but not knowing what to say. this picture is a reenactment of this event. Got to give Samantha credit for following my "no boys" rule. well done, well done.

Here we are! cute right?

So there you have it. God has blessed me with yet another wonderful day in Bolivia. I find that I love it here and adjust more and more each day. I couldn't be more sad about leaving in a week. boo i don't want to think about it. But anywho that was my day.

Remember the Sabbath and make Bolivian food

Guess what? My lunch today was probably one of the best meals ever and you probably should be a little jealous. Wednesday is the scheduled sabbath day meaning we take it off from going to orphanages. I had mixed feelings about whether or not I needed a sabbath since I only have 2 weeks left but I'm glad I did take the break because these past few days have been super emotional with one of my roommates returning to the states. Anywho you probably want to know about this lunch I'm bragging about. Today I got to hang out with awesome MK's and make Bolivian food. We made 3 things and they all rock. I'm going to do this mostly with pictures so ready set go

Making Zonzo which is baked mashed yucca and cheese. yum!

Empanada de queso before it went in the pan. you can tell a gringa folded it :)

Suzanne's empanada

My empanada

frying the empanadas

and this was my lunch. Empanada de queso, zonzo and a bowl of soup!

and we ended with cuñapé frita. basically fried cheese bread made from yucca instead of flour.

So this story ends with everyone being really full and really really happy about it, at least I was. plus we ate chicken enchiladas tonight for dinner with spice cake for dessert. so good! this has been the best food day ever and deserved a blog post about it! also another thing that was happy today... alberto the guard/groundskeeper was wearing woman's ugg boots and so um a creeper picture was in order. shhh this was taken with pure stealth by Emily. sorry it's sideways. i flipped it on iphoto but apparently blogspot doesn't believe me.

Saturday Is My Favorite.

You gotta love the weekend. Well I had a really good day today. Want to hear about it? I love saturdays here because on saturdays we go to an orphanage called Megumi and cook lunch with them. I love love love these girls. They are all super sweet and super fun.
Today we made spaghetti. 

This beautiful ladies are who I have been living with for the two past weeks. Couldn't be more blessed!

Eryn was real good at mixing. Real good.

Some of the girls setting the table

The Lunch was really yummy of course. After lunch and dish washing we went out to play soccer with the girls! aaaah soccer. I love soccer. So much that I will run through a pile of dog poop in bare feet numerous times while screaming just to score a goal. I think the girls found my super competitiveness to be quite humorous. Super fun. I really love it there.

Then we had to leave booo! But even more fun awaited us as the day went on. I made cheese quesadillas with Amy Cline which was super fun. Cheese is just wonderful and made me really happy. Plus we had chips and salsa. 

AAAAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDD then we got to go to Cristo Viene! Thursday is the day we normally go but this thursday didn't work so I was so ready to be there tonight. I finally got to see laura after almost two weeks since she was sleeping last time I was there. When I came towards her she gasped and said "Mi Amigita!" and reached out to be picked up. So good to be able to hold her after what seemed like forever. The girls were watching a movie(Princess Protection Program to be exact) and I got the joy of sitting with Laura and Vicky who is just a little younger than laura. Trying to balance two wiggling and talkative little girls during a movie is absolutely hilarious. Eventually Vicky got annoyed by Laura's squirming and moved which was also hilarious. Laura proceeded to wiggle, climb on me, and tell me everything that was going to happen before it happened. It was pure bliss. 

The girls watching a Selena Gomez music video :)

God is awesome for giving me a day like this. This week had been hard for me but it's days like today that make the challenges totally worth it.

And Honestly...

3 weeks ago today I was on a plane on my way to Bolivia. It's crazy to think about because I really feel like I've been here forever. I really do love it here but this trip hasn't been without challenges either but at the end of the day I know that God has me here for a reason. Or do I? Don't get me wrong I'm not about to pack my bags and sit in a corner and pout but lately it's been a little harder to understand why I am here in Bolivia. And no, I'm not going to sit and crank out a depressing blog. Those of you who know me well know that's not how I roll. But I am going to use this blog post to present a specific, thought-out, and honest prayer request. Maybe it's just because I haven't been around the little girls that cling to me and love me as much or I'm just tired but I often find myself asking God why am I here. In most situations lately I feel just really awkward and unhelpful. I often feel like God should have sent someone more assertive and confident in my place. Someone who can handle any sort of ministry instead of just sitting there wondering when the next time I will get to go to Cristo Viene is because I'm not good at anything else. 

It's times where I am doing things such as this that I feel called to be and to stay here.

Showing love to kids especially little girls is where I can visibly see God work through me. It's the other times that it gets hard and start believing a lot of lies. I know that God is not limited and can work through people in any situation I just have a hard time believing that God will use me. I need prayer that I can know that God is working through and I am where He wants me to be. That I would not have these doubts and stop believing lies and start to fight them continually without giving up and giving in to them. That I would have confidence in who I am in Christ. That when I am believing lies I can seek truth from the word and the people around me. I have been blessed with people around me that do care enough to help I just don't ask for it. Thank you to everyone who supports me in prayer. I appreciate it a lot a lot a lot.

On a happier note not all of it is hard and I do really love it here. God has taught me a lot about Himself and His character. I have this amazing opportunity to do ministry alongside some amazing people and watch as God works through them. It's super encouraging and I just love the amazing God we have and how chooses to use us. How He teaches us to love and therefore reveals a picture of His love for us. It's absolutely insane. God really just loves to blow my mind. I am learning just how personal God is and how He puts things and people in my life to meet me where I'm at to love and encourage me. Like it's crazy to think about how He has a specific plan and way to show me His love and encourage me to keep growing in Him. Yeah it's pretty wonderful.